Weighted Faith

Weight Loss and Faith Collide

Posts Tagged ‘your story’

The Road from Your Mess to His Message

{Guest Post ~ Rebecca Halton is a brilliant author, a speaker, and a redeemed adulteress.  She wrote Words from the Other Woman as a way of discouraging others from making the same messes she made, and believes God’s redemption can empower people to have bright futures despite bleak pasts.  Learn more at http://www.rebeccahalton.com }


No matter how tidy we can try to keep our houses, cars – and lives – the truth is, we’re all a mess without God.  I, for example, made a big mess in my early 20s when I was in an adulterous relationship with a married man.  And off and on since I was a teenager, I’ve been cleaning up the mess of an unhealthy view of food.  Too often, food has been a coping mechanism – and my weight a defense mechanism.

When we inevitably make a mess of something: a relationship, our bodies – our lives – what do we do?  You’ve probably already heard it said that God can take our mess and turn it into our message (our testimony) – but how do we get there?  I want to share here three things that I’ve learned on my own roads from messes to messages:

1.  You can’t move forward without forgiveness.  Once I began down the destructive road of adultery, it was hard to feel like I deserved forgiveness.  Even when I left the relationship, it was easier for me to forgive the married man with whom I was involved, than to forgive myself.  When I repented and asked for God’s forgiveness, He gave it quickly – but receiving it took me a bit longer.

I think what ultimately helped me forgive myself, was remembering what Jesus went through so I could be forgiven.  And remembering that it’s not a suggestion to forgive: in Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus commands it.  You can’t move forward from mess to message without forgiveness: repentantly receive God’s for you, and extend yours to whoever has hurt you.

2.  You can’t un-mess-up yourself.  Have you ever tried decorating a cake – like, writing something in colored icing on white frosting – and you mess up?  If so, then you know how hard it can be to fix.  And it seems like the more you try to fix it, the more of a mess it seems to become.  In our efforts to fix ourselves, we can often just make more of a mess than we started with.

For me, this usually comes out of feeling responsible: if I caused it, then I should clean it up.  But that responsibility will only get me so far – there are just some messes in life I don’t have the ability to fix.  Those words I spoke that hurt a friend’s feelings?  I have the ability to ask for forgiveness – but I don’t have the ability to soften a hardened heart.  God, however, can.  Tell Him you need His help cleaning up.

3.  You can’t keep having unrealistic expectations.  Perfectionism is pretty much good for two things: disappointment and failure.  Perfectionism creates and feeds unrealistic expectations of yourself and other people.  Grace – like forgiveness – has been hard for me to extend to myself.  But it’s grace that helps us bounce back faster when we’ve been, well, human!

Adjusting your focus can help, too.  If you’re expecting that you – in and of yourself, on your own strength – will never mess up, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.  If, however, you rely on the power of Christ and the wisdom of the Word, you’ll find your messes become messages faster and more healthfully.  Or, like navigating a minefield, you become more adept at dodging disaster in the first place.

~I hope Rebecca’s message has encouraged and inspired you as it did me. Go to her website for more information about her new book “Words from another Woman”

May Blog Series “Mess of Me”

Me Too

Want to tell your story?

In May I am doing a blog series “Mess of Me” and I am looking for contributors!

I am looking for stories about struggles in your life and how you persevered. Whatever topic you want to share is up to you. It doesn’t have to be about weight loss. Something that you want to share that would help someone else going through the same thing.

Deadline for submissions is April 30th, 2013 (extended it a little bit) and I am looking at a max of 600 words or less.

Email your story to weightedfaith@gmail.com

Also include a bio, blog site or website, and picture. (no blog or website? I still want your story!!)

There will also be a book give away (details to come)

Thank you!