I had a person tell me once “Falling off the wagon is part of the process, the point is to run and get back on” I don’t ever think I will forget that.
It’s true. Whether its excuses, self-sabotage, or priorities. You will inevitably change course.
There were several things for me: I found out I had PCOS, I had a new job working a lot of overtime, balancing a new schedule, injuries, and simply putting my health on the back burner.
Changing behaviors is a balancing act and you will get unbalanced.
When you get unbalanced … what do you do?
I get depressed, I berate myself for being weak, I feel shame, I give up, and I start not to care. Then all of a sudden I have gained 35lbs back of what I lost. It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself once in a while, BUT don’t stay here. It’s a dark and scary spiral that pushes your friends and family away. It gets slippery real quick, and then you are all alone. That’s where the enemy likes you, in this state of mind.
Part of my struggle is with an auto-immune disease like PCOS but the other part is pizza, cookies, cake, churros at Disneyland, Ice Cream (if you live in the San Diego Area try Narvalo Ice cream &Gelato in Vista, Ca. they are the best) Ect…. Ect…. It’s all about choices… either you do or you don’t.
Really though, it’s like anything you learn for the first time, there will be mistakes made along the way. It’s what you do with those mistakes is what is important. For me: I refocus, I find my balance again, I learn from those mistakes, and I pray.
One thing that one of my trainers had me do is write down all of my goals, big or small. It didn’t matter if it was fitness focused or personal focused. I will be honest. I wasn’t thrilled about the exercise because it was hard. What are my goals, what do I want to do? Where do I want to be? However, when I commit to something I do it. At the end I barely had enough paper to write. It’s a fun task once I did it.
Just remember, everyone gets unbalanced at some point. No matter what you see on social media, every.one.gets.unbalanced. What separates the people that succeed from the rest, is how quickly they run to jump back on that wagon.
I have been no stranger to run/walking 5k’s they are just 3.1 miles – easy peasy. With Disney rolling out their inaugural Star Wars half marathon, being a huge Star Wars fan, I was going to participate in the 10K which is 6.2 miles.
Here is what I learned:
Need a good Training partner— My friend Laura is so amazing, she is a great training partner. Its very important to have a training who is not flakey. Laura made everyone of our training sessions and even when I didn’t feel like it she gave me that extra push I needed to move my butt.
Have a Plan – My plan was to follow the Couch to 10k app 3x a week and have a big walk on the weekends.
Be consistent with your training – I let life get in the way and I was not consistent with my training which made me more nervous that I wasn’t prepared to run the 10k.
Don’t beat yourself up – Not every run is going to be your best. Sometimes you have a great work out and sometimes you have a rough one. But regardless, be proud that you actually moved that day.
Don’t stress – I think the biggest mistake I made was that I wasn’t going to make time and be swept and that made me tense and ended up injuring myself. I was so much in my head that I didn’t stop to enjoy the course. The whole point as to why I wanted to run this to begin with.
Bring Epsom Salt – Because I was so stressed and tense while running my muscles were fatigued. It would have been very helpful to have brought some Epsom salt for relief.
Don’t overexert yourself – Yes you are at Disneyland and Yes you want to walk around the park and go on every favorite ride you have. DON’T. It will just make things worse, instead take it easy. Have a post race churro. Enjoy the day. You want to keep moving but at a slow and easy.
All and All I did it and I am proud that I did. Actually I am happy I got my medal. I couldn’t have done it without my friend Laura who was there every step of the way cheering me on and reminding me to breathe. Honestly without her I probably would have ended up on the side pasted out because I was so stressed and I would have forgotten to breathe.
I encourage you to set a goal and acheive it, no matter how scary it can be ~A
I recently had a conversation with my nutritionist Julianna and she asked how my progress was going and I said “I lost 11lbs, but this is the weight I start climbing back up” I have been hitting a wall at 220lbs, I just cant get past that number. Julianna said “Angela, you are always going to weigh. You have A lot of muscle mass, that is how your body is made up, its just that we want that weight to be muscle not fat.”
Man that was such a hard pill to swallow.
We all have this idea of what weight loss is all about. I thought my goal was going to be at least 170lbs or less and 20% body fat. Then I get a bomb like this. “You will always weigh” It really blew my mind.
Like, the concept that I will always weigh ….. what did that mean to me? That meant that I will always be fat. Julianna saw the tears in my eyes and started to explain. My body is the perfect make up to be more of a power lifter, which I don’t see myself as that but that is what I love to do, Lift weights. She said that I am a slave to a number and I need to stop. So she suggested that I weigh myself once a month and get a body fat analysis monitor. There are other things I should focus on, Body fat/measurements/how my clothes fit. The scale doesn’t tell you everything.
When you weigh yourself often this can become a very destructive pattern, the scale for me was dictating my steps towards my health. I was stressed, discouraged, and obsessive. I have always used the scale to keep me accountable and in check. SO now that I don’t have that to measure my progress, I was nervous that this would discourage me on my weight loss journey.
The last time I weighed myself was September 27th and I have realized that the steps that I do daily cant be weighted: the healthy food I eat, my sleep, hydration, exercise…. These things don’t change just because of my weight. These are the things I will continue to do for the rest of my life. So it has been hard to not weigh myself but nice not to have that number hanging over my head. I cant tell you what I weigh right now. BUT, I can tell you that I feel good, I have been making choices that are in line with my goals for the most part, and my clothes are getting looser. So I maybe 200lbs for the rest of my life but if I am 20% or less body fat….. then I will be okay with that.
“Accepting your body as it is right now allows you to make decisions about caring for yourself in the present moment, which is, after all, the only moment you have any influence over.”
“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” Proverbs 12:25
Guest Blog Today!!!
I struggle daily with anxiety, my confidence, and self esteem about my weight, but that is getting better every day.
I can only do this through The Lords strength and daily prayer. If you are struggling with anything, I am always here to talk. I have learned in my years that sometimes just telling someone about what you are going through is the first step to healing. Because its only then you will see that people will still love who you are with all your scars, brokenness, and baggage.