As a photographer I have always loved taking pictures of people the most. I love the innocence of a child or the loving moment with a family, most of all I love the moment where a person feels good about how they looked in a picture I took. I like making people feel special.
I am most comfortable behind a camera.
I have never been good in front of the camera, mostly because I never have been comfortable with my own body. Years and Years of feeling insecure about my weight has messed with my mind. We all look at a picture and see that our saddlebags are now really duffle bags, or that our eyes are too close together or our nose is too big or too small. I can give you a laundry list of things we see negatively about ourselves. However, there is something my good friend Laura told me one time that has always stuck with me “Regardless of how I feel about my looks in pictures, this is who I am at this moment”
So I like to take family pictures yearly for our annual Christmas Card. My family loves to see pictures of Ray and I and our dachshunds, so despite the sick feeling I get in knowing I am going to look fat, I still send out pictures.
This year I made my annual photo shoot, and I was really excited this year, mainly because I was going to be working with a highly recommended photographer in the San Diego area – Brooke Aliceon Photography. I have heard so many good things about Brooke and I absolutely love her style. Also it is the first photo shoot I have done since I have lost 70 ish pounds.
It was the first time I wasn’t anxious, nervous, self-conscious, insecure, or sick to my stomach that I was too fat to take a family picture. This was a reflection, a reflection of my hard work, dedication, determination of my weight loss.
It makes a difference to have a good photographer, Brooke is a photographer that makes you feel comfortable during the session. I think the best quality she has is that she gives good direction. You don’t feel like “what do I do with my hands or is my head in a funky pose?” Also I told her about my weight loss and she took that in consideration in the poses to showcase all my hard work. She did a great job capturing the love of my family.
Now I can tell you that I am nowhere near my goal weight and I can pick apart every flaw I see in myself but this is life, this is me, and I am working every day to get to that goal. That is something I can be proud about. Here are a few of my favorite pictures – A
I talked about the 30 challenge in my previous blog . Well its time to reflect on what this has kicked started for me and my life. A great friend of mine Brigitte told me “Eat to live don’t live to eat” It took a while to really wrap my head around that concept.
I was the person that just lived to eat. Hang outs with friends was an eating affair. I would obsess over food, mainly sweets. And when I say OBSESS this was the process: OoooO I am craving a burger, a Red Robin Burger, then I will think about this burger probably all day then get home and then go to Red Robin, then look at the menu and get a basket of fries to start, then think Clucks n Fries sounds better than a burger then after looking at ALL of my complete options, just to make sure I am not missing a better choice, then get the deep fried chicken & another basket of fries (already consumed over 1800 calories in one meal) and still left wanting something sweet so maybe I get a dessert or not because I don’t want my husband to think I am a pig … but then think, something sweet sounds good maybe some ice cream or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. If I didn’t get that sweet that night then in the morning it would switch to “OoooO a donut sounds good or maybe coffee cake at Starbucks with a super sweet coffee drink…. And then the next meal ….. and the next. All the while just wanting to sit on the couch and do NOTHING but talk about wishing to be “skinny”
Now when I look at the menu I think “how is this going to nourish me?” What am I putting into my body? If I can’t pronounce an ingredient I don’t eat it. I eat to live now. It was such a hard concept to understand but now I.GET.IT. I still am amazed at how my tastes have changed and something that I use to eat ALL THE TIME (Reese Peanut Butter Cups) now taste like wax to me and because I have cut so much sugar out of my system, just one piece of Sees Candy is enough more than one I feel sick.
So now that I talked about eating lets talk about the physical part of me. I use to watch HOURS upon HOURS of TV. Just sit there on the couch with no energy or motivation to do anything. Now I can photograph a whole wedding for over 8 hrs and not be out of breath. I went from holding a plank for barely 8 seconds to over a minute and a half. I have bicep muscles!!!! I can dead lift over 117lbs. I lift weights!!!! The biggest thing though is that if I don’t work out … I get SO cranky. What a complete change. I can barely sit to watch tv for 2 hours without getting antsy.
I have become the person I have always wanted to be but said “I will never be like that”
People ask all the time “How did you do that” the best thing is CONSISTENCY
With consistency you form a habit and you replace bad habits with good ones and then it becomes routine
If you are in the North San Diego County and you want an amazing experience with an awesome community of people please sign up!!!
The challenge is donation based so you can tailor it to your budget. There is no judgement- just a bunch of people getting healthy. Please feel free to contact me with any questions firstname.lastname@example.org
Here is my year comparison picture. This is 65lbs down and a whole heck of a lot of inches -A