I had a person tell me once “Falling off the wagon is part of the process, the point is to run and get back on” I don’t ever think I will forget that.
It’s true. Whether its excuses, self-sabotage, or priorities. You will inevitably change course.
There were several things for me: I found out I had PCOS, I had a new job working a lot of overtime, balancing a new schedule, injuries, and simply putting my health on the back burner.
Changing behaviors is a balancing act and you will get unbalanced.
When you get unbalanced … what do you do?
I get depressed, I berate myself for being weak, I feel shame, I give up, and I start not to care. Then all of a sudden I have gained 35lbs back of what I lost. It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself once in a while, BUT don’t stay here. It’s a dark and scary spiral that pushes your friends and family away. It gets slippery real quick, and then you are all alone. That’s where the enemy likes you, in this state of mind.
Part of my struggle is with an auto-immune disease like PCOS but the other part is pizza, cookies, cake, churros at Disneyland, Ice Cream (if you live in the San Diego Area try Narvalo Ice cream &Gelato in Vista, Ca. they are the best) Ect…. Ect…. It’s all about choices… either you do or you don’t.
Really though, it’s like anything you learn for the first time, there will be mistakes made along the way. It’s what you do with those mistakes is what is important. For me: I refocus, I find my balance again, I learn from those mistakes, and I pray.
One thing that one of my trainers had me do is write down all of my goals, big or small. It didn’t matter if it was fitness focused or personal focused. I will be honest. I wasn’t thrilled about the exercise because it was hard. What are my goals, what do I want to do? Where do I want to be? However, when I commit to something I do it. At the end I barely had enough paper to write. It’s a fun task once I did it.
Just remember, everyone gets unbalanced at some point. No matter what you see on social media, every.one.gets.unbalanced. What separates the people that succeed from the rest, is how quickly they run to jump back on that wagon.
Today’s blog is featured at Devotional Diva
God makes miracles out of messes, and he sure did that with me and this life experience.
For the full story …
I have believed all my life that I am undeserving of success. That, if I put others first, they will love and value me, and that makes me feel loved. I also believe that putting me first is selfish. Growing up with a sick mother and a drunken father I was put into a role very early to take care of my sister and help my mom with things around the house. I was cooking full dinners, cleaning and laundry by the age of 8. This has contributed to me naturally taking care of everyone else but me. Also, by focusing on others it helped me cope with avoiding attention on to me and helped me hide behind my weight. I recently was asked,
“Why aren’t you defining your own worth and letting your insecurities and fears define it for you”
Why can’t I be my own Cheerleader?
I will be the first one to tell you that I am the hardest on myself. (Aren’t we all?) When people say “I can’t believe you did a plank for 1 minute, I think it should have been two. Sadly, I believe we are all trained and taught that we are not good enough, we need to be fixed, and we are flawed. It’s also society has taught us that it’s not acceptable to think of ourselves highly because if so we are “stuck up, arrogant, or full of ourselves” and these really are all insecurities.
If anyone of my friends or my husband loses weight, meets a goal, achieves a dream, I am the BEST cheerleader. I am the first one to be positive, motivating, and inspiring. I need to start doing this for myself. I need to believe that I am worth being honored as much as the honor I give my friends. What is so wrong with cheering on ourselves??? We aren’t bragging, or being conceited, or being better than anyone else. We are loving ourselves, Just like the Lord loves us.
I found a list that I think will help in cheering me (you ) …Us on:
-Speak of yourself positively (remember when you put yourself down you are putting down someone’s best friend)
– When someone compliments you, just breath and say “thank you” (I say “thank you I work really hard”)
– Write down things you appreciate about yourself on a regular basis (you can write something you like about yourself on your mirror or dry erase board where you will see it)
– Buy yourself a little something as a token of appreciation that makes you feel good
– Take time for yourself and by yourself
– Celebrate your successes (big and small)
– If you did 5 more push ups this week than last week – High Five
– did you skip on the donuts at work? – High Five
– did you eat a donut at work? – donuts happen, don’t beat yourself up just move a little more
I don’t know why society decided that its not okay to love ourselves and be confident but remember
“People only rain on your parade because they’re jealous of your sun and tired of their shade”
So I talked about Letting Go and Letting God, and this is exactly what happens when you start allowing the works of the lord in your life….
My friend Jennifer Gannon (an avid health nut) who I met through a mutual friend would talk about this 30 day challenge. She told me it’s about eating real food, no processed foods, no carbs, just basically fruits, veggies, and lean meat, and implementing boot camp type workouts to get you moving. She brought this up a couple of times when I would see her at BBQs and such. The whole time thinking “No Way can I give up my breads, donuts, desserts, baking” I mean I already started to scale back and count my calories, in addition I just came off from fracturing my foot so there is No Way I can do a boot camp style work out. Then I see Jennifer at a gathering around November-ish 2011, I share with her how my foot is better and I need to start working out more and she took the opportunity to mention the challenge again. Finally she wore on me. Meanwhile I thought “OMG what did I do” Because this whole time I knew that these classes are too advanced for me. Someone at 268lbs, on blood pressure medication, high cholesterol and pre diabetic could NEVER hang with the type of activity they want me to do. But I thought what’s 30 days right?
Then I met Cody & Alana at 181 fitness – January 2012
The first couple classes I attended, I am not going to lie, I felt like the fat kid in class. I hadn’t worked out in over a year and a half because I was in a cast for a fractured foot. I had never done anything like these classes before- Boxing, weight training, running up and down stairs with weighted vests. But as I was going to more and more classes I realized most everything that we were doing are movements and exercises I could do at home. So great, I had no excuses not to exercise. I also am a person that loves a challenge and every class I had attended I find myself saying “I love this, I want work on this so I can make it look easy like Cody” I started to get excited to go to every class to improve, grow, get leaner and stronger. It also helped that Cody and Alana are very passionate about fitness and just made it easy to ask questions. Most places you go you are on your own, nothing but a dollar bill, but I felt welcome and that Cody & Alana had a vested interest in my health. That they didn’t see me as the fat kid in class; that they saw someone trying to save their life. During this 30 day challenge I won most improved (my plank went from an 8 sec hold to a 20 sec hold) and I didn’t have to take my blood pressure medicine anymore.
I couldn’t have asked for a better experience to start my healthy life than the one I have had with Cody and Alana, It was literally an amazing 30 days. Their encouragement, knowledge, & friendship have really changed my life forever. This is an example of God knowing your heart and putting people & opportunity in place, but it’s up to you to take it.