So today is HUGE. Ray (my husband) and I are going to see my absolute favorite band in the world…
The Foo Fighters!!!! I am so excited.
But with this excitement brings anxiety. You are probably there thinking “what could possibly bring anxiety at a concert?” Could it be the swarms of people? The horrible setup they have for parking? The drunken idiots puking in the corner? It’s none of these things.
Well with my body shape, I am more of a pear shape. My thighs have what are called “saddle bags” or what I like to call them “duffle bags.” They are very curvy. So it’s difficult for me to sit in a chair with fixed arms on the side. This is the same anxiety and situation I get with flights too. I am always sitting to the side or in awkward positions to fit in the seat. Panicking in my head that other people know what I am up to and judge me because they know the only reason I can’t fit comfortably in that chair is because I am fat. My mind races, many of my friends say “oh who cares what other people think?” I always reply “me”
In my years I have faked the “I don’t care” attitude really good. There are several different restaurants that have nice patio seating, one of which is my absolute favorite Mexican Restaurant “Fidel’s” now called Norte but I refuse to call it by its new name. They have these beautiful white iron rod chairs out on their patio. I can’t fit in them. I am entirely way too embarrassed to ask for a different chair. I will push in my thighs wedge myself into the chair then grin and bear it. But the whole time my thighs and legs are going numb and I am having the worst time because I am so uncomfortable. To the point where I want to cry but instead I engross myself in whatever conversation is going on to keep my mind off the physical and mental pain. I am the type of person that always wants my friends to be happy. I would never want to hinder that. So instead of asking to sit inside and explain why…. I would rather suffer.
So tonight I will be hoping that there isn’t “those people” that complain that people stand at concerts, so I will get a little reprieve. Otherwise I will be uncomfortable … but man the Foo Fighters are SO WORTH IT!!!!